This is a random rabbit trail ---------->[It's weird. When two people decide to actually share their feelings and then start spending mounds of exclusive time together- they get really cheesy. Like cheesier then they would ever be by themselves. Am I the only who notices this? Nicknames are one thing. But they also make jokes that aren't very funny and laugh hysterically.
It's cute. It's weird. It's ceuird.
It's like not exactly a turn off- like I still love hanging out with these people- but it's also sort of like swimming in a crowded public pool. It's fun but you always feel slightly invasive.] rabbit trail over
Anyhow, I've been thinking a lot recently about why I'm not dating. Well, the biggest reason, first of all, is that no one's knocking down my door to get a date. Second, I'm not really "looking." Whatever that means.
In light of these revelations I thought I might but pen to er paper- or rather- finger to key- and come up with five reasons I shouldn't be dating anyway. (and I would hope you know- I do this from the most lighthearted perspective- I am not grumpy at all)
ok, so Why I would make bad girlfriend:
- I'm not too good at remembering important dates. No, but seriously. Like I forget my family's birthdays all the time. I remember one time I was talking to a friend when all of a sudden I remembered it was 3 in the afternoon. And it was my sister's birthday. I felt pretty lame. I can only imagine how bad I would be with like anniversaries and stuff. Me: "Aw Hon, I love when you bring me flowers just because!" Him: "No! It's our ten year anniversary. As in, we've been married for ten years. As in, ten years ago- to the date- was the day we got married." (ok, I realize this example is bad because it's not very funny and it's not very realistic but I'm running on low imagination right now. give a girl a break)
- I don't take myself too seriously. For example, I hardly ever take a regular picture. For some reason I always have to contort my face into some freakish impboyface and like do the whole "I'm so ironic" pose. If you don't know what that looks like- it's like a duck face plus some other weird eye twitch. It's not hot. It's like Hot's evil twin with a bad nose job. But that's the tip of the iceberg. I talk way too much about gas and laugh really hard at AFV. I'm not very graceful so I trip a lot. I also sometimes smack when I eat apples with peanut butter. I feel like I would be a disgrace to the boyfriend community. (Because we all know that exists. A bunch of guys who sit around and talk about the girls they've dated and share their feelings and make brownies together. It's a thing.)
 |
| impboyface |
3. I'm not good about sharing stuff. Ok, so this one needs a healthy disclaimer. I would say, in general, I'm a pretty generous person. I don' mind people borrowing my clothes or stuff. But I guess I should just say that I'm not used to sharing everything at all times, like soft drinks and food. I tend to get sort of ravenous when I have- say- meat. Like let's say I have a chunk of meat on my plate. Ok? I'm not going to cut you off a nice big piece because I really like meat. Especially if it's beefy and juicy. Go get your own chunk of meat! I am a selfish, selfish person. I like to have things that are mine. Mostly food. Sometimes the heat from the car heater. Sometimes the last stick of gum. Now, if you ask me I will always, always say- "of course! You can have movie choice!" Inside I'll be all, "phrumptyphrumpphrump."
4. I over-think/analyze everything. I'm such a girl. I'm happy I'm a girl. Girls get to wear skirts and paint their nails and watch Disney movies. It's pretty great. But one down-side of being a girl is thinking for two. (you've heard of eating for two- right? well, same concept) I would imagine that relationships are tricky enough without one person thinking what the other person must be thinking and then thinking that what they are thinking is not the same as what they are thinking. Got that? Peaches! Let's move on. Because you know what I mean.
5. I wanna be your friend. I've always had this crazy idea. It goes like this, boy and I meet. We become bestest friends. One day we are walking along in the park because that's what we like to do. He takes my hand, kneels down, and asks me to be with him for the rest of our lives. We can be best friends AND we get to spend the rest of our lives walking along in parks. WIN-WIN! Because of this crazy idear- I guess I'm just not looking for love, I'm looking for a life.A life that will come alongside my life and then slowly morph into the same life.
And those are my five reasons I would be a not- so- great girlfriend.
PEACE!!!!
 |
| I call this one. rabbitsrevengeface |