When I left you last I was being pathetic. The link to the
first part of this post is here.
I was living in sin (not loving God, disobedience etc.).
But I promise, as horribly depressing as this story is----it
gets amazingly better! God’s love is deeper than our sin. A very, very true
statement.
So, I went to a friend’s wedding. Still sulking and being
pathetic. Trust me. Christ worked in me despite my own self. A couple at my
church had some free airplane tickets that were set to expire the day after the
wedding. Somehow, the tickets were transferred to me so now I had a free ride
out to California for the wedding. I was still a sinful mess. But God wasn’t
finished with me.
DISCLAMER: You should already know this, but just by way of
reminder…we can’t do anything, and I mean anything to secure our own joy or
peace. It has to come through the cross. It has to come when we surrender
trying, by legalistic means, to get to the next step of sanctification.
That level of accountability was so humbling and I was
grateful for the unexpected exhortation. Especially from someone I wasn’t
formally close with or had an ongoing relationship with.
I realized too that apart from Christ working in us, the desire
to change just isn’t there.
So I spent a lot of time reading my Bible and finally,
finally talking to God in prayer. I had a lot of sins to confess but it was
also a time for action. I had to make a choice: would I return to my sinful
ways once I stopped having this accountability or would I rely on God?
I still didn’t have a job. I have very few Christian friends
in Connecticut. It looked rough.
Early in July ( I had been home for almost two months now),
an old boss of mine texted me at 9pm Monday night. She said, “Hey, are looking
for summer employment?”
I couldn’t believe that God provided that money for me. It
wasn’t a lot but it was enough to do what I needed.
I worked all through the summer up until I went back out to
California for school. And let me tell you, it has been one incredible semester
so far.
Because of my earlier issues with loving the Lord and
trusting in Him, I learned how to truly adhere to His commandments. My passion
for God’s word is like never before. And I can’t reiterate ENOUGH how much this
is not me. THIS IS NOT KATE.
I don’t say that to put on false humility although I will
admit that it is a struggle. I honestly want to believe that I had something to
do with this transformation but I seriously, seriously did not.
So now I want to lead it back to you, the reader.
Are you enthralled with Christ?
Do you desire what God desires?
Do you really find true joy in Him?
Do you understand that our BEST and FULLEST form of joy only
comes by Christ?
Are you reading His word with anticipation, knowing that He
is working in you as we speak?
Hebrews 4:14-16
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has
passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our
confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our
weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without
sin. 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so
that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Dearest friend, I beg of you to not follow me. Please,
please do not.
I’m hoping that this post is done in the utmost amount of
sincerity and love. I would hate to see a brother or sister stumble in the same
ways that I have- so let my testimony serve as a warning/exhortation/encouragement/strengthening
aid. And “Kiss the Son!”
Pray for the desire to serve God. Pray for the strength to
overcome man-fearing and situation-fearing and future-fearing.
Thank you for reading. I am humbled.