Dear person who thought I was too young to be married

Dear person who thought I was too young to be married,

I can see from your wedding band and your age (which is higher than mine) that you have a few things in life that I don't. You've gained experience. You've gained time.

You have children. Multiple children from multiple relationships. A very, well, complex situation to be sure.

I know from past conversations you were married once before and that it didn't really work out. I think your current partner is in the same boat. I know that there are many around me who are treading the treacherous waters of broken marriages and trust and homes. So I can sort of understand that when I mentioned my desire to get married and start having kids in my twenties you told me to wait another ten years. Wait until I'm 35 to think about marriage. Even think.


What a culture we live in? Amiright?

Despite my young age and despite the fact that, no, I've never been married. I do know my mind. I also know that I desperately long to be joined to my better half someday. Not that I'm unhappy or incomplete. I know I'm not, nor ever will be, ready for such a HUGE commitment. I know my ugly side will show and my sin will come vomiting up out of my heart.

Even in church and around the blogosphere I hear hints of bitter young singles. They are saying they don't know if marriage is part of God's plan for their lives. They're blaming someone. They're blaming a church that caters to married women and not to career women. They're bla
ming the lack of good male leadership that pursues young ladies.

Ah yes. There is always someone to blame. Someone, that is, except yourself. And I don't mean to say that singleness deserves blame or that it should be treated as a sin. It's totally not. But maybe the reason a lot of us aren't ready to be married at 25 isn't because it's 25 but because we're acting like we're ten years younger.

Blue is the new black and twenties are the new teens.

My culture, which you are very much part of (whether you will admit it or not), keeps telling me to let loose right now, that I shouldn't be worrying myself about what kind of wife I'll be or how I'll raise my kids. Everything around me is telling me to explore, even if it's, oh, a little bit sinful or, oops, a little bit lacking in wisdom.

But here's what I know at the tender age of 25:

• Marriage isn't a trap and it isn't something you push off until every jot and tittle lines up. It will never be a perfect fairy tale as long as the main characters are sinners.

• We shouldn't wait ten years and then see if marriage is a little more appealing. Maybe we should grow up by about ten years.

• Everything about being single is still wonderful because God made it that way. I absolutely won't get married unless he's a keeper, a leader, a lover, a God-loving, Christ-chasing man. Despite the desire, I remain content. I get excited thinking about who it could be or when it could happen. But I'm not sitting on my laurels waiting to be swept off my feet.

I'm going to continue to serve God and work hard and do nice things and watch my married friends and kiss their babies and go out with other singles and buy Taco Bell just because and fill my hours with all the good things God gave us on this green earth. I'm absolutely not going to explore all the things I (supposedly) can't do once I'm married. And definitely will not be trying out the things I'm going to do once I get wed (winky face).