how to date and still have fun

If dating isn't the hot button issue of every Christian young adult ever, I don't know what is. And I have to admit.

I have very limited experience in the dating community. So I'm going off a small supply of personal information.

my dating life

But I've watched a lot of my friends go through dating relationships. I've watched the overzealous romance flower out of rocky soil, only to die at the first problem. I watched one of my best friends break up with her long time boyfriend and it actually being good time in her life for spiritual growth and maturity. Now they're married and having a baby. Which is totally awesome.

And I'm sure you, dearest reader, have many, many stories of your own to share. I would love to hear more.

Basically what got me fired up to write this post was another blog post entitled "Here's some honest dating advice" which you can check out here. The author, Matt Walsh, says,

"If you know for a fact that you would never marry a certain person, then you shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship with them. Knowingly staying in a relationship without a future is like riding a dying horse into the desert. It’s a slow, painful death march, and there is no chance of it working out in your favor."

What he's basically reacting against is the whole "casual dating" atmosphere that seems to pervade our culture. And to a certain degree, I totally agree with Mr. Walsh. Us young'ns need a little kick in the pants when it comes to being adults and defining the relationship in mature terms. If you have no plans whatsoever for a future together....what are you doing in the present?

However, and I want to be careful how I say this, dating should be fun.

What I mean is, sometimes this whole "courtship" trend  forces a relationship to go, well, pretty serious....pretty fast....

like, Shane West serious

 Judging from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and just about every other movie made about wicked-fast relationships, it seems like taking such a serious approach could literally kill someone, or the relationship, or both.


Don't get me wrong, I do, very firmly, believe that if you like someone enough to date, you should like them enough for marriage. But the truth is, you just don't know until you know. You really will never know if that person is "the one" until you've said, "I do."

You can have a pretty good feeling that person is your person.

 And that's a pretty good sign. But don't let that inkling take over a beautiful relationship. You might also end up with a broken heart. And if you've already imagined a whole life with that person, even if you were the one who did the breaking up, it will be much, much harder. I pinky promise.

Remember all those middle school friends you still talk to? Oh you don't. Well, neither do I. And I totally thought we would best friends for the rest of our lives. Did this mean we were wrong for sharing our deepest secrets with each other? NO! What about all that time spent at birthday parties and sleepovers? no.no.no. All of that was perfectly real and all of it was perfectly ok.

The same is with dating relationships. Yes, you think this person might be the girl or the guy you're going to spend the rest of your life with....but you just don't know. So you get to know each other a little better. But you don't freak out. You just sort of take it in stride. Because you really want to get to know that person for who they are.

Of course....whenever they text you....you're all