5 fake expectations we got from chick flicks

I have to admit. I'm a chick flick junkie. When I was in high school I was all about action movies and explosions and insane car chases. But now I've sort of become a softie.

That being said, I've noticed that I've started to see my life as if it's a movie. And having these expectations, well, that's very, very dangerous.

You've Got Mail, 1998

1. You guys will inevitably hate each other at first.

Much Ado About Nothing, 1993

If there's one huge plot point that most chick flicks center around, it's the fact that Romeo is some kind of jerky version of  Keanu Reeves and Juliet is a rough-around-the-edges, no-nonsense, copy editor.

At first, they clash on multiple levels: they've got competing businesses, the guy looks like he was smooching this other random girl but they really weren't smooching they were hugging (something about this later), or something a bit more ridiculous.

At some point, usually in the second half of the movie, one or both realize whatever difference or disagreement they had at the beginning is unimportant. True love conquers all.

Reality:

While it makes for a great story, most of the time the stark differences between the two protagonists will eventually rip them apart.

I think most girls want this story to be true because there's something riveting about your guy love/hating you. But the truth is, most healthy relationships are built on at least some amount of attraction and acceptance.

2. The best friend who affirms your compatibility with the other person, yeah he's totally right.

In almost every movie, there has to be the best friend. Sometimes this person adds drama, sometimes they add laughs, but they are almost certainly there to give depth to the main character. Well, that's the idea I guess.

Most of the time it's the best friend who nudges the protagonist, "Hey, you haven't gone out much since Charlie. That guy seems really nice. Give him a chance."

And then, presto magic-o, the best friend is completely right. Every. Single. Time.

Crazy, Stupid, Love 2011

But in Reality:

Let's say your best friend is the most caring person on the planet, is there any chance he/she is going to have an objective view of who you are? Maybe. But most likely, your friend will tell you what you want to hear, not necessarily what you need to hear.

Your friend loves you and would like to believe that this other person is absolutely your match. It doesn't necessarily mean they're right.

3. If you're fat you don't count. 

Shallow Hal, 2001

Have you ever noticed how many "token" people there are in chick flicks, there's the ditzy girlfriend, the gay man friend, the random black person who makes jokes for us to laugh at, the Asian techy-nerdy guy, the oblivious mom, the homeless guy who is smarter than anyone....etc. etc. etc.

However, the one character I've always felt bad for was the random "fat" friend. Don't you feel bad for that person? They're like the middle child of the RomCom family. If they do get paired with someone, and not ignored for the lardy trash they must be, it's almost always a skinny nerd. Or a bimbo who believes in fairies.

 Real life:

Ok, I'm going to come across like a total jerk but this is one area I actually understand about Hollywood. It's true. Ugly people finish last. But that doesn't necessarily mean the finish line is something to be proud of. Being first in a beauty-filled industry only means you're eventually going to be downgraded. Here's what's awesome about being average or - uh - less than average in size....people like you for you. Or maybe because you're funny. Whatever.

4. When you thought he was cheating, he's not, it's actually his sister.

You've seen this. Right? Everything is going along a fine and then - BAM - another woman is on the scene. You, the audience, probably know this guy isn't cheating but the main character doesn't know that. She thinks her guy is cheating.

She runs away saying something vague like, "I have to go." Later, maybe at the end of the movie, she founds out she was way too hasty. He says something random, like, it was his sister.

Hitch, 2005

 But in reality:

That's not his sister. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

5. The way to find out if you're meant for each other is to have an amazing first kiss.

The rule of every chick flick is that maybe at a mid-point, but certainly at the end, there will be a bit of lip sucking.

One can only hope it doesn't end up like this:

Because if it does end up becoming a weird "Nom" fest, that means he's totally not right for you. Right?

The truth of the matter is:

First kisses are never what they are in the movies. Not that I'm exactly speaking from experience.

But I'm pretty sure that in the real world the first kiss of Spiderman and Mary Jane would have looked a lot more like two woodpeckers trying to share a grain of rice.

And that would have been ok. You know why? Because in the end a kiss is just a kiss. It doesn't hold some sort of tangible meaning in and of itself.

What holds meaning is the motives behind the kiss...and I mean....come on...you really think in the movies those motives are pure?

PUH- Leez....