It's actually so surreal to call something mine that seems so significant and huge. A place of my own. Those of you who are home owners or renters may remember the stew pot of emotions that come with getting your own place.
Most of them are happy. Some of them are sad.
Happy because - FREEDOM!!! I have probably burped after every meal in my new place just because no one is here to get grossed out.
Sad because spending your paycheck on dish washing soap and measuring tapes and mayonnaise instead of reclaimed barnwood coffee tables and cute knick knacks is so not sexy.
One thing that's been a constant little thought in my head is just how differently I pictured this season of life.
The first morning in my apartment was also my 26th birthday. 26. Wow. How did I get to 26? It sounds so old.
I know. I know. It's not actually old.
But I feel like I'm still just a teenager trying to figure out eyeshadow and now I'm here in my own apartment trying to figure out what shade of teal looks good on bath towels (It's the warmer, darker one btw).
By 26 I pictured myself married with at least 1, maybe 2, kids.
Although part of me craved the freedom of being independent, I also wanted the domestic life.
It's a strange thing to say in this day and age. But I seriously wanted a family by 25, the same age my mom was when she got married. And yet here I am.
And would you believe me if I told you...I'm actually still breathing. No breaths have been held by this ginger. Life isn't something you passively allow to happen to you. No! You take every moment captive.
At this moment, I'm trying to decide on colors and home decor and how to paint a hideous dresser I found for free on the side of the road.
These moments are beautiful.
I'm learning how to live with myself, strange as that may sound. Do you ever just sit and let your mind breathe? It's like unraveling a ball of yarn one little pull at a time. It's learning about yourself.
Some people are really good at being alone. I'm not.
I'm always planning the next social event or the next human interaction when all I really need is a little space.
Being alone is good for an extrovert, believe it or not. It takes away the false securities found in human relationships and places them squarely at the feet of our beautiful heavenly Father.
The conversations we have now are so much deeper. In the absence of running down the hall to tell someone the next dramatic thing that happened in Kate's life, I pray.
Isn't that how life should be lived? I can think of nothing sweeter than constant, sweet communion with the Lord of all creation.
He blessed me with this precious home. Amidst all the financial concerns and busy projects, I find a solace in His arms.
AWKWARD TRANSITION FROM SORT OF LONG RANT
Here are a few things I've learned that can really help when you move out on your own...
- Don't stress about buying everything all at once. You need literally over a hundred million items (I did the math.) when you get your first place. Don't be like me and get freaked out over the amount of money you'll need to spend. You really don't NEED much. Ask someone who's not homeless what they would suggest.
- Do the dollar store. Okay, I felt totally weird going into Dollar Tree and buying actual home stuff but DUDE. They have some seriously cute stuff. Like the plate here. Plus, a four pack of TP is a buck. Just sayin'.
- Unpacking slowwwwlllyyy is okay too. I don't know if you're like
me but I like to get unpacking done and over with. I'm starting to see
that when you just don't know yet where things go, it's okay to leave it
out. Just figure out what works for you. This is YOUR home. No one will
ever know that you're keeping the laundry in the bathtub for now. - Have people over when you're feeling uninspired. Sometimes when it's just you looking at
your place and you've looked at so many times that you're eyes are
crossed, you need a fresh pair of eyes. Have someone over who shares
your style. Ask them what they think. You don't have to go with every suggestion. It's just nice to get it. And to show off your new shower curtain too. - Take breaks to enjoy your new space. The other day I grabbed all the blankets and pillows I own, placed them in the center of my living room and watched a movie on my laptop. I was surrounded by boxes and to do lists but since I spent the better part of the day at work and then running errands, a nice little break before bed was perfect. I felt less overwhelmed and a ton better about getting more unpacking done. In the words of Tom Haverford, "Treat yo self."
- Cheap food. Okay, by cheap I don't mean unhealthy. There are so so so many cheap foods out there guys. Cheap proteins like tuna, canned chicken, peanut butter, and beans will get you through many a tight wallet. Add these to pasta, rice, bread and frozen veggies and DUDE you're golden.
You are my hero. Dude.
ReplyDeleteNah! You're MY hero!
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