blessed with the flowers or without

If you want the fast version skip the brackets- they're pretty boring anyhow :)
[I'm not going to even comment on how long it's been since I last blogged. (here's a hint, it starts with an "f" and ends in "orever") Actually, quite fittingly it was the last time I had a few free moments. Yes, this semester, like the rest, has been CRAZY BUSY, emphasis on the crazy. However, I have found it so much easier to balance my time when I cut out a significant part of my social media time, like blogging and facebook.
 ------TOTALLY UNRELATED SIDE NOTE: I was actually challenged by one of my friends before the start of the semester to try going off Facebook for a week...dun dun dun...and found it quite do-able. Amazing.----]

[So now I'm spending more time with actual people instead of these cardboard friends. You know. The ones that are life-sized but aren't as good as real life :)]


The mainest point of this already ranting post is that the start of this week was rough. Really rough.
It wasn't the ten-pager I worked until the wee hours of the morning putting the finishing touches on or the project/test combo day. No. It was a few simple words that I uttered to myself: "I want to change. Now."

Context, I was sitting in a little cafeteria drinking a Starbucks having a really good chat with someone older n' wiser than me. She noticed over the course of our conversation how much I sounded like a resume', listing off this ability and that person I knew, my gifts and the various ministries of which I'm apart.

She stopped me and asked, "You're trying to impress me right now. Aren't you?"

[Everything inside me screamed, "No way, Jose'! You're a good person. You really are everything you say---and more!'
Then I got to kicking myself mentally (TOTALLY RELATED SIDE NOTE: I did this over the course of like .67 seconds so I wasn't just like staring off for a really long time- just so the context is right) and realized, "gosh darn, she just nailed that one on the head."]

Oh boy did that hammer hurt! I had to admit that I was. It was just so humbling. Any facade of humility that I maintained came crashing down and now I was truly humbled.



[By the way, I would just like to clarify, I don't think being humbLE and being humbLED are the same thing. The first one produces a meek and quiet heart. The last one will give you the opportunity to be humble but in and of itself will not produce anything other than guilt. In other words, being humbled can happen to anyone and most likely will. Humility is another thing entirely.]

Well, thankfully the Holy Spirit convicted me times 9345349058 and I really heard the words of this person. They cut me deep. I was forced to re-examine every interaction I've ever had. How much of these had been an attempt at showing how great I am? When and where had I put the focus on myself instead of on the Lord?

So she gave me an assignment:

Write down the answer to these two questions - What do I believe to be true about myself? What do I believe to be true about God?


You can bet this Thanksgiving is going to be chock-full of lots of confession and the guilt that comes with comprehending sin, even in our finite ways. My story doesn't end here though. Otherwise that would be plain ole' depressin'

What happened today was amazing- I overheard a sermon on Romans 7 (endish) and the beginning of chapter 8. What joy is mine! I am such a sinner. Yes. But Christ is such a God. He's far stronger than any sin we could conjure and, GET THIS, able to overcome our weaknesses!

Therefore there is now NO CONDEMNATION!!!! woot woot!

I quickly asked for the sermon and was given this link :click here for sermon by James MacDonald :)

Anyhow, I would just like to end my post by saying that although I feel very weak right now... it's like starting at square one but not knowing where square two is...Jesus is my strong rock. He's the reason I'm thankful this Thanksgiving. It's not my own righteousness that has brought me to this realization, but His. S.D.G

PS- explanation of title...flowery thanksgivings tend to be my normal. This year, as of yet, has not been a flowery Thanksgiving...however, sober thoughts or not, I am so blessed, not depressed. hey.....that rhymed...