Why is it that we find ourselves so often confronting the fake-humility demon? Is it because we truly are unable to be perfectly humble so we try to make ourselves seem so? Additionally why is self-deprecation such an attractive trait if so often it has an underlying taste of pride?
These questions I've often asked myself, yet, I stumble again. During many conversations I say something that puts myself down in an attempt to be either humorous or unconvincingly humble. It's an interesting defense mechanism. First, you think that people will find a fault with you or something you do. Then, you decide to point out this fault in yourself so that the very worst criticism is controlled. You see, anyone who follows your own "harsh" critique with something worse just looks like a jerk, kicking you when "you're down."
You basically protect yourself by putting yourself on the sacrificial altar but allowing others to extinguish the flame. A question this naturally leads me too is at what point does self-deprecation stop being honest and vulnerable and start becoming prideful, "fishing for compliments?"
This is such a good point Kate! Definitely a good reminder!
ReplyDeletei was just thinking about this recently too! this same pride manifests itself even in situations of "spiritual discussion", in which it's easy to find some sort of perverse pleasure in being the first to recognize and point out one's own sin issues, so as to lessen the impact of someone else confronting you on it. our pride is so grossly and subliminally sophisticated =(
ReplyDeletebut i think that the answer is not quantitative, but more one of what is being treasured in the heart. like good ole cj mahaney says, humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. we know who we objectively are: formerly dead sinners in desperate need of God's grace who have received unfathomable mercy and new life in Christ.
the cross doesn't leave any room for boasting, but it also doesn't leave anything unsaid. in other words, we have nothing to prove, because the whole of our filthiness and guilt was put to display by what Christ had to suffer in order to atone for it.
whoo! all that to say, we ought to praise what we prize. (and i'm preaching this to myself primarily) if our of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, then hopefully a heart treasuring Christ would be most evident through our speech.
to put all that in a nutshell, self-deprication < Christ exaltation.
YES YES YES! I love CJ and I love that quote by him. I think you nailed the point on it's head. However, it can be quite difficult to distinguish even our own motives (Jer. 17:9).
ReplyDeleteI tend to make fun of myself a lot because I have a ton of awkward moments but I wonder how much of that is just being prideful. I guess that's one of the everyday issues that goes with being a sinner saved by grace :)