Why my "To-Do" list turns into a "To-Don't" list

Ahhhh...I've got that feeling.

It sounds like sucess. It sounds like perfection. But the sad truth is, it's not.

What am I talking about? Well, I'm a major list-aholic and I just crossed off one of the last items. Dorky, I know. I would literally shrivel up and die if I didn't write my life down in the form of a "to-do" list. I'm super forgetful like the goldfish that perpetually swims into the side of the glass fishbowl. However helpful it may be to keep these lists, I've been noticing a startling trend besides people staring at me with a blank expression.

I get so stressed out about getting every last item on the list done. Why? So I can cross it off with a determined scratch of the pen? So I feel like I'm not wasting my time? Or maybe, and I think this is the correct answer, it's because I feel anxious about the "what-if's?"

Phil 4:6 (NASB) says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

I was starting to notice, in addition to the sinking feeling in my stomach, that I was stressed about having to do this or that even during my personal time with the Lord. I was so distracted.

Hello, my name is Martha.

Gee-whiz. Praying for this or that to work out or come through is fine. But at the end of the day they're just this and that! I should be so focused on my dear, dear Lord Jesus that everything else, every trifling care becomes, well, trivial.

On the flipside (isn't there always?), the reason I am breathing a sigh of relief is because I got done with everything on my list. Well, close to everything. In a fallen world it seems like the "To-Do" list never ends. So why do I, or people in general feel such a sensation of satisfaction, even though nothing is perfect; even though the list still has a few items and will continue to build?

I am a little embarrassed for my nerdy response to dinky trials like not getting to cross off another item off my list but sometimes the more embarrassing response is when I suceed.

"Ha ha World! Me 1, you 0! Take that. Booyah!" 

*Does Rocky dance, then stops when other people start to watch in alarm*

It certainly isn't wrong to feel satisfied when you (and by you I mean "I") find earthly success. But let that not be our one hope or desire. Let's not find our joy in meaningless accomplishments but in God. One of my favorite worship songs, "All that I Need," in the second verse says, "In You is fullness of gladness/ And fullness of grace for every need/ Rest for the ones who are weary/ And beauty surpassing all that we’ve seen."

I hope I always find fullness of gladness in the Lord. I will leave you with the entire song which can be heard and purchased at the following link Sovereign Grace Music

All that I Need 

Words and Music by Stephen Altrogge

Verse 1
In You is strength to sustain me
And wisdom enough to guide my hand
Mercy enough to forgive me
And power to finish what You began

Chorus
All that I need is in You, Jesus
The fountain of grace that overflows
All that I need is in You, Jesus
You are my only hope
You are my only hope

Verse 2
In You is fullness of gladness
And fullness of grace for every need
Rest for the ones who are weary
And beauty surpassing all that we’ve seen

Bridge
You satisfy my heart
You satisfy my soul
You satisfy my heart
O help me always know